Category Archives: John Christian Hopkins

Tech failure

Print this articleAt the risk of having my Official Man Club membership revoked, I must admit that I’m not very good at mechanical things, or modern technology. I was reminded of that recently while visiting Northland Pioneer College in Holbrook, … Continue reading

Published in John Christian Hopkins

Instant karma

Print this articleMaybe John Lennon was right about Instant Karma. Maybe it will look you right in the face. Or stomp on it. In South Africa, three poachers slipped into Kruger National Park hoping to bag a rhino. You just … Continue reading

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If it wasn’t for bad luck …

Print this articleI tell you, I can’t catch a break. Nothing goes right for me. Just the other day I was watching a Youtube video by some 15-year-old boy who is known as The Backpack Kid. It’s called “Flossin” and … Continue reading

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A divisive issue

Print this articlePerhaps Sherlock Holmes is needed? After all, the game’s afoot – but not everyone wants to toe the line. For roughly a century the non-native – mostly Republican – voters in San Juan County, Utah, have controlled the … Continue reading

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Making Anatomy grow again

Print this articleHello, friends, Dr. Peter Bigg-Pickle here. I am the Federal Official of Length (FOOL). It was recently brought to my attention that porn star Stormy Daniels publicly insinuated that President Donald Trump was lacking size in one particular … Continue reading

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True blue for Trump

Print this articleI come to praise President Trump, not to bury him. Now that he has clarified that only 80 percent of the media are enemies of the people, I can finally come forward as a true-blue – or is … Continue reading

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Me, too?

Print this articleThe issue of sexual harassment has been in the news lately and some prominent men have fallen into disgrace because of it. That’s a good thing, as public discussion of the issue is long overdue. But what seems … Continue reading

Published in John Christian Hopkins

Suspicious minds

Print this articleTwo black guys walk into a Starbuck’s … Stop me if you’ve heard this one before. I mean, we’ve been inundated recently with frightened (?) white people calling the police to report black people for suspicious behavior, such … Continue reading

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Abraham Lincoln’s mass hangings

Print this articleThere are three names that will almost always get a negative reaction from Native Americans: Andrew Jackson, George Custer and our 16th president, Abraham Lincoln – who was born on Feb. 12. Jackson’s genocidal actions toward Native Americans … Continue reading

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Schmitt happens

Print this articleBy now you’ve probably heard all about how President Donald Trump referred to African nations as “Schmittholes.” Were you outraged? You shouldn’t have been. I mean you should expect a potty mouth from someone who has “rump” in … Continue reading

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World Toilet Day: Skip to my loo

Print this articleThe first toilet was a royal flush. In 1596 Sir John Harrington, a member of Queen Elizabeth I’s court, invented the first flush toilet. It took nearly 200 years before Alexander Cumming received the first patent for a … Continue reading

Published in John Christian Hopkins

Breaking news! TV is terrible

Print this articleOkay, I’m mad as hell – and I’m not going to take it anymore. Well, I might take it, but not before I rant and rave for a while. Sara and I just moved to Newcomb, N.M., and … Continue reading

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A crazy little thing called love

Print this articleLike Michael Jackson said, it’s close to midnight – and there’s something lurking in the dark. It’s happiness and bliss. It’s joy and gratitude. It’s a crazy little thing called love. This is Sept. 22, 2017, and Sara … Continue reading

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Remembering Elvis

Print this articleForty years ago – Aug. 16, 1977 – The King died on the throne. It was an infamous ending for one of the most famous men to ever live. Elvis Aron Presley was only 42 when he died, … Continue reading

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Is Chief Wahoo demeaning?

Print this articleYoo-hoo, Wahoo, someone’s watching you. That someone is a Canadian tribunal which might consider whether the team logo of Major League Baseball’s Cleveland Indians is racist or not. The logo in question is a grinning Native American caricature … Continue reading

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Failing home ec

Print this articleWhen my mother-in-law, Bernice Austin-Begay, went to high school, one of the classes she took was “Bachelor Survival,” which taught the boys useful home-ec-type skills they would need after graduation. She recalled how some of the boys wanted … Continue reading

Published in John Christian Hopkins

Failing home ec

Print this articleWhen my mother-in-law, Bernice Austin-Begay, went to high school, one of the classes she took was “Bachelor Survival,” which taught the boys useful home-ec-type skills they would need after graduation. She recalled how some of the boys wanted … Continue reading

Published in John Christian Hopkins

Begayisms

Print this articleUnbeknownst to my wife, Sara, I have been secretly studying and am close to earning my master’s in Begayisms. My wife’s maiden name is Begay and I soon discovered that her family has their own little ways of … Continue reading

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Begayisms

Print this articleUnbeknownst to my wife, Sara, I have been secretly studying and am close to earning my master’s in Begayisms. My wife’s maiden name is Begay and I soon discovered that her family has their own little ways of … Continue reading

Published in John Christian Hopkins

My alternative life story

Print this articleSo you think you know me? Well, what if I shared my life story with you – using alternative facts? First, let me assure you that nothing would change from the original story of my birth. I was … Continue reading

Published in John Christian Hopkins, March 2017

My alternative life story

Print this articleSo you think you know me? Well, what if I shared my life story with you – using alternative facts? First, let me assure you that nothing would change from the original story of my birth. I was … Continue reading

Published in John Christian Hopkins

Losing in the Pectoral College

Print this articleThe result of November’s big election sure caught me by surprise. I never even thought he had a chance, but, then, what do I know? But it really happened: The Rock was named People magazine’s sexiest man alive. You heard … Continue reading

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How to keep your friends in an election year

Print this articleFriends add spice to our lives. We all need someone to hang out with or to shoot the bull with. However, this presidential election is already one of the most divisive in history, and will likely only get … Continue reading

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Behind the times

Print this articleOK, call me old-fashioned, but what is this Pokémon Go stuff all about? I remember my oldest nephew, Jacob, used to really like them. I think they were collectible cards or something. I had no idea there were … Continue reading

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Donald Trump tells all!

Print this articleAs the most famous journalist in America, I was able to interview Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump. Me: There was a recent incident in Orlando, Florida – Trump: It was just terrible. So bad. It’s Obama’s fault. Me: … Continue reading

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Flavor of the month

Print this articleI spent most of my life as a journalist, believing that I was keeping the public informed of the important events of the day. But today I was listening to CNN and realized how embarrassed I am about … Continue reading

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Exposed

Print this articleA few weeks ago a jury awarded ESPN sportscaster Erin Andrews $55 million in a case involving her being secretly filmed nude in her hotel room. And now Hulkamania is running wild! On March 18, a jury awarded … Continue reading

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Funny business

Print this articleI was excited when Cortez librarian Kathy Berg asked if I would consider taking part in February’s Amazing Authors Tour. My partner-in-crime on the three-city tour was none other than David Feela, one of my favorite Four Corners Free Press columnists. … Continue reading

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2015 in the rear-view-mirror

Print this articleAll in all, I think I had a pretty successful year in 2015. I mean, first off, I wasn’t killed by the police. It seems like there are too many minorities that can’t say that. And, secondly, I … Continue reading

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