Being a writer, I am always having writerly thoughts – brilliant blips that are sure to bring me fortune and fame if I can just put them on paper then get them out there into the world.
I carry pens and paper with me wherever I go: running, driving, grocery shopping, cooking in the kitchen, branding cattle, watching a movie at a friend’s.
I write everything down – everything. I scribble on my legs when I run, I jot on paper CD covers while I drive, I keep multiple journals, I cover blank pages in books with my words, I write on maps when I am exploring, I keep notes in my phone. Paper scraps inundate my world.
Then I save all of these little tidbits with the idea that I will return to them, elaborate, and publish.
I’ve done none of the above, so I recently decided to begin with revisiting. I scrounged up all of my bizarre little surfaces used for note taking and sifted through looking for some real gems – moments of brilliance.
I can say for sure that brilliant moments are few and far between, but I for sure was entertained by many of my blurbs and failed to understand 99 percent of them.
But I thought that they might provide some light entertainment for my readers. I’ve listed some of the more choice jottings below. If nothing else, you can gain some interesting insight into my weird brain. I will provide no explanation – I have none. On some of these, your guess is as good as mine.
- Sometimes I forget that I’m not black
- Things I know – it’s not fun until it’s over
- Lived out of my car so often that it insidiously happens again, slowly, and I don’t even notice until I am at a crisis point and I don’t have any shoes or jackets in the house
- Give her a chance to run into something with her head – pure bliss
- “Save the baby humans, Jesus is still the Answer”
- While she’s making my latte I discover that she’s the only other person in the world who has only recently discovered Downton Abbey
- Cat food, loppers, flea medicine, toilet Paper
- “Check Mate F—–r.”
- Liz Gardiner’s lipstick
- Siri: I don’t know how to respond to that” Me: “Siri you are f—-g fantastic!” Siri: I’d blush if I could”
- Psalms
- Everyone check your fit bits
- “J is in guadalawhothehellcares”
- Oh my God I have been alone in a house of boys for a very long time
- I feel like I always smell a little bit
- Exorcism
- Pussy and Dick – I SWEAR those were the names of a Texan couple who lived next door to us in Lake City.
- “Answering that feels like navigating a minefield”
- Hairless armpits
- Dead song Jerry hated
- There’s a diller in my yard
- Cat prints appear disappear noise – big – talked down to magpie – I’m going to die of fear not cat
- Feel like I’m eating the most satisfying Meal
- Church socials only
- We were always the loud boat
- Jobs: Bloomingdales – that green skirt; Morning Ray – rude meant more tips, waiting tables in long underwear; Edgartown Inn – polyester, prunes, ketchup, chambermaid, condoms; The Court Jester – Paul Newman, Carly Simon, Mike Wallace, Mr. Cronkite, down Vests
- LDS smile
- High school history teacher slept with students and got us into bars – name???
- Bowen “I’d fight a pelican any day – all pelican’s just think they’re so badass”
- B-team, tennis bloomers, Liz Gardiner’s hair, taking pride in being number 2
- My nervous breakdown – Ryan Adams songs still scare the kids
- Midsection roll – nope not kayaking – Demi Moore’s knee lift
- Starting to wonder when my unhealthy habits will catch up to me
- Column: bear badger cow now
- I am the girl that makes faces when she’s dancing
- Anything that tastes like baby aspirin is comfort food
- I bought a truck so that I can take the scenic route • The moment when you realize that the cool guy is actually a kind of freak and not necessarily in a good way
- Chickens only lay eggs in one place so they wait in line
- Oh, I AM a runner – my toenails are beginning to fall off again – my normal
- “I was celibate for my 25th year of life and ended up with an STD”
- He was running up the hill, shirtless, midsection tight as a drum, rippling, glistening, face fierce
- Come on, you’re a federal appeals attorney – she works at a summer camp – how can that possibly be threatening?
- Columbine, paintbrush, phlox, larkspur, lupine, yellow peas, bluebells, other yellow ones, roses, black eyed susans, vetch, penstemon, cow parsnip, other white ones, primrose
- Sky with a couple of clouds providing contrast to remind you of just how blue it is
- Got to get Jodi B out here
- “Wait, Wait, I’m from Canada”
- I will not be censored, silent, disempowered, shamed, stifled
- “Clit – he’s heard of it.”
- Motel Hello
- Google Maps doesn’t know right from left
- A developed disdain for the popular Kids
- Who actually likes coconut water
- Coffee, havena chips – 2 handfuls, 3 oranges, homemade chips, 1 doughnut, cheese, burger, potatoes, mango pineapple, banana bread, macaroon
- Track packages cat shitting
- People who have to speak in a group just to be heard
- Pineapple, mango, coffee
- Today felt like Will Ferrell’s journey from the North Pole
- Sam Elliot Facebook butchered rooster on Sunday
- No, you may not go pee
- You have no friends
- No, your 13-year-old biceps do not turn me on
- Weber Canyon 5:30 SUPER CREEPY
- Raccoon fox fox
- Eggs grey and lumpy, pants split, saran Wrap
- “If you want to do your personal work, move to a small town.”
- That moment when you find the ghost hair in your bra
- Colin firth’s leg
- Snoop is sexy
- No underwear – can’t chase pigs, can’t climb greased poles, can’t dance in a twirly skirt
- Do I look like a meth head?
- Gator jerky
- Elvis has complicated emotions
- ”Son, don’t go near the Indians”
- ”I’m my own grandpa”
- “Bitches being raised by unhappy bitches.”
- One armpit smells like curry
- Why have I never been to the top of Sand Canyon before?
- I have a great fear of falling, hitting my head, blacking out and coming back as my 15-year-old wimpy self
- “Road less traveled on” you can’t end
a sentence, or a song title, in a preposition
- I don’t wear Prana or zip off pants
- Kids say I can’t like Darius Rucker because of his early association with the Blowfish
- Elvis freaks out crossing cattle guards – IN THE CAR
- Cottonwoods, grey sky, lime Chapstick
- White sunlight filtered through grey clouds that makes you think that Jesus is on his way
- So windy I peed on my foot
Suzanne Strazza writes from Mancos, Colo.
