The war of the words

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Hopefully, you’ll add this piece to your face­tiae collection. Facetiae means witty or amus­ing remarks or writings.

I can honestly say that on a scale of 1-to-10 my wife, Sararesa, is a definite sweven. That’s not a misspelling; nor is it an insult to my be­loved wifey poo.

You see a sweven is a real word. It refers to a dream or a vision. And Sara is both. She’s the vision I dream about. Bada bing!

I admit it, one foible I have is the love of words. A foible refers to a minor weakness or flaw in character. I’m trying to change my habit of learning new words, but then I al­ways end up looking up meanings of some interesting word. All I can say is “Drats! Foibled again!”

Now when I first saw this next word, it made me think of my former stepdaughter. The word was panglossian – which was close to her last name. Then I realized the definition fit her, too! To be panglossian is to remain optimistic in the face of adversity.

Sometimes things just seem to decussate, right. That means to intersect. Warning! If you suffer from metropho­bia, this next bit might be hard you to get through. That’s because metrophobia is a fear of poetry:

“There once was a man from Nantucket He went to his corral to muck it
As he picked up his shovel
He spotted the trou­ble
He had a hole in his bucket!

If you’re really gen­erous with the defi­nition, that could be passed off as poetry. Unless you have bardology — an excessive rev­erence for William Shakespeare. But, then, I never claimed to be another Shakespeare – just your average long fellow. Speaking of generous, if someone asks me what part of me is pharaonic, I’d have to say my heart. To be pharaonic refers to some­thing that is overly large. Of course, a close second would be my …. Brain!

What were you thinking?

I like playing with words, but don’t think that makes me unctuous. That would refer to someone exces­sively smooth or smug.

And don’t call me a snol­lygoster! That means a clever or unscrupulous person. If anything, I am more likely to listen to the vox populi – the voice of the people.

Think of me as a scofflaw – which means a person who flouts the rules or ac­cepted practices. Like I’m the only one who has a Twinkie and Dr. Pepper for breakfast!

Now, I hope you’ve found this peek at some odd words proceleusmatic – which means inspiring or inciting. But I hope you aren’t inspired to do any­thing foolish – like attack the U.S. Capitol. That would be an abusage of my commentary. Which is to say an improper usage of words.

Now, here’s a word to the wise.

Maybe you should take some time to think about words and re-read this overmorrow, which is the day after tomorrow. You may just become a linguaphile – having a love for language or words.

Well, I’ll admit that learning new words are my hamartia. That’s a tragic flaw.

Wait, MAGIC FLOOR? I think I need to start writing my next book!

John Christian Hopkins lives in Sanders, Ariz., with his wife, Sararesa. He is a veteran journalist – but never an enemy of the people – and a former nationally syndicated columnist for Gannett News Service. He is the author of many books, including “Carlomagno: Adventures of the Pirate Prince of the Wampanoag.” He is a member of the Narragan­sett Indian Tribe of Rhode Island.

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From John Christian Hopkins.