Category Archives: Katharhynn Heidelberg

First, the disclosure: I just ate a hunk of red velvet cake that was enrobed in thick, butter creme frosting. It was part of my birthday leftovers; it was good, and I am a grown-up who can make my own … Continue reading →

Once upon a time, a man applied for a job. He was a good worker, had mouths to feed, and just wanted to earn a paycheck. Thing is, he was a Christian and all of the businesses were owned by … Continue reading →

Negative Nellie is an advice column dealing with the daily minutiae of life, and is especially for those who are weary of serious discussions on meaningful topics, such as what to do about Syria, how to tackle unemployment and how to save Social Security. … Continue reading →

Reviewing movies on Netflix is one of those things you know you shouldn’t do — one, it is an exercise in vanity, and, two, it is a waste of precious sanity points as you start wading through other people’s reviews … Continue reading →

In June it seemed as though the world hadn’t quite figured out whether to hail Edward Snowden as a whistle-blowing hero, a traitorous snitch, or some mixed-up dude with delusions of grandeur. But the fact is, the U.S. government has … Continue reading →

Stay with me on this one. I spent eight years of my life furious with the way George W. Bush and Dick Cheney got away with ignoring, and in some cases, eviscerating our constitution. Eight years being stunned that anyone … Continue reading →

Suppose a man slides between the sheets and starts getting it on with you in a dark room, before you realize he isn’t your boyfriend. You file a rape report — someone sexually assaulted you, after all. But if you’re … Continue reading →

The bloom is off the post-election rose. Not two weeks after President Obama’s re-election, we had delusional whiners signing petitions to secede (or, as some fans spelled it, to “succeed”), and would-be president Mitt “Foot-in-Mouth” Romney complaining Obama won by … Continue reading →

This column may read as though it has been hijacked by the comic strip Non Sequitur’s Obvious Man. Plus, there is inherit hypocrisy in criticizing others for failing to discuss substantive issues instead of, uh, discussing those issues yourself. But it’s campaign … Continue reading →

I swore I wasn’t going to do this. But on July 20, I woke up to again find my state in the headlines. Another coward, another killing spree, more lives needlessly lost, more innocent people injured, physically and otherwise. Columbine, … Continue reading →

Soda has no nutritional value. The substance, hilariously described in one radio ad that pimped a car with larger cupholders as “bubbling … tooth-rot,” has many nutritional deficits. It should not be the only option in school vending machines that … Continue reading →

Imagine if the thought of your freedom was so frightening that others passed laws to control you — laws that probed into your most intimate, personal decisions, and dictated what advice others could give you regarding those decisions. Imagine having … Continue reading →

Question: What do you get when you give any politician or authority an inch? Answer: Two inches of greater latitude for whoever comes after him — until you reach the place where we now find ourselves: miles from the land … Continue reading →

By now, we’re all achingly familiar with the Penn State sex-abuse scandal, its horrific allegations of child rape, and how all of it toppled a legendary coach. For a moment, though, let’s forget about Joe Paterno, loathesome as he might … Continue reading →

The government cannot run a post office, rein in Wall Street predators, figure out a sensible immigration policy, end wars, or even agree how to keep itself funded. Were your neighbor this incompetent, you wouldn’t trust him to cross the … Continue reading →

Oh, what fun. Regressive Ricky is in the race — and, snark aside, it looks as though the gentleman from Texas might have a fightin’ chance at the White House. Cringe. OK. That was the last time for snark, I … Continue reading →

Did Dr. David Ludwig of Harvard go all Jonathan Swift on us, when he suggested fat kids should be removed from their parents’ care? Not quite. As it turns out, the media blew out of proportion his and researcher Lyndsey … Continue reading →

It is easier to exploit fear than to appeal to reason. If you’ve been reading my past few columns, you’ve probably begun to recognize a pattern. I wish that weren’t so — which is to say, I wish it weren’t … Continue reading →

I’ve got news: My body is not your business. On the serious side, I’m talking to the South Dakota Legislature, which in March passed a law requiring women to listen to an ideologically based spiel about abortion before they can … Continue reading →

A woman’s work is never done — not when it comes to guarding hard-won civil rights and advances in equality of the sexes. If you think we’ve left behind in the dustbin of history the days of the economically dependent … Continue reading →

Has Facebook replaced “the little black book”? Marriage crusaders and others given to artificial moral panic seem to think so. Facebook, we’re told, is being used by cheaters to facilitate their cheating. Or, as Rev. Cedric Miller essentially proclaimed to … Continue reading →

Imagine Bible-burning parties. Imagine they’re not only called for, but enthusiastically advertised – by religious leaders. Imagine the rest of the country reacting with vehement opposition to your new church because they don’t like where it’s being built, and choose … Continue reading →

I don’t care about Warren Jeffs’ civil rights. That is, I don’t care as much about them as about the rights of women who are allegedly abused, and men who are used and discarded under the watch of this self-aggrandizing … Continue reading →

Two years. On May 14, 2008, I was in my yard with my best friend, Domonique. There she was, wearing her harness and leash as she had hundreds of times before, since our move transformed her from an indoor-outdoor cat … Continue reading →

The steps the government took to rescue AIG were motivated solely by what we believed to be in the best interests of the American people” — Timothy Geithner, Newsweek, February This is one of the biggest lies to ever trip off a forked tongue. … Continue reading →

When it comes to dumb, too often, we’re spoiled for choice. 2009 was no exception. The high — er — low lights of the Year in Dumb, in no particular order, are: Judge Racist: In October 2009, Louisiana Justice of the Peace Keith … Continue reading →

Tina. Sarah. Amina. Noor. All died young, violently, at the hands of their own fathers, over perceived sexual misconduct — and in the United States of America. They have more than that in common. Like thousands of women the world … Continue reading →

For the world, Sept. 14 is the day actor Patrick Swayze died of pancreatic cancer. For me, it’s the day after I learned my 71-year-old father had been diagnosed with the same deadly disease. He’d complained of stomach pain for … Continue reading →

Alas for Cal Thomas. The syndicated commentator was the latest, as of mid- September, to take the easy route — by slapping an emotionally charged label on the people with whom he disagrees, a label which, further, is defined solely … Continue reading →

There was a time when the stories of Everyman were few and far between — and such as existed were most often told by folks several tiers up the social ladder, with their own spin. How times have changed. We … Continue reading →

Dear South Carolina: Had an awesome time down in Argentina in my love nest with my mistress;the one my decidedly better half told me to dump. I know y’all didn’t know about that, or that I was even in Argentina, on account of me not being real … Continue reading →

Dump your Jewish friends. You read me right — dump ’em. Only, it’s not really dumping. It’s for your own self-preservation, so that makes it OK, even laudable. Relax. I’m just taking a page from the book of MeMe Roth, … Continue reading →

Turn on the TV today and you’ll notice a lot of marketers are devoting their 30-second slots to telling you what their products are not, rather than why you should buy them. Yes, it seems that a type of “rebranding” … Continue reading →

Relentless advertising, absurd “analysis,” and an exceptionally loud noise machine — yup, it’s election season. We can expect one thing: it will get worse before it gets better. This is what happens when there is a 24/7 news cycle. Since … Continue reading →

“I don’t approve, but it’s their culture.” Oh, if only it were possible to fine everyone who says that a dollar or two — then there might be enough money to help people who find themselves victimized by “their culture.” … Continue reading →

First, the disclaimer. I do not hate America. I’m perfectly aware that a Wahabbist nutjob brainwashed several disaffected men into murdering more than 3,000 innocent people. And, though I disagree with the ever-changing premises behind the (unrelated) Iraq War, I … Continue reading →

Let’s get one thing straight. I don’t care if Larry Craig is gay, bi- or hetero as the day is long, and I don’t care what he was or was not doing in the privacy of a bathroom stall. Nor … Continue reading →

Psst! Wanna know a secret? Married people are morally superior to single people! And, guess what else? Married people with kids are morally superior to everyone! Whaddya mean, you already knew that because it’s been beaten into your head since … Continue reading →

Two words. Stop it. That’s right — cease, desist, knock it off already. Stop freaking out over fat kids. Seriously, is any refrain in the Public Nanny’s “think of the children!” battle cry more obnoxious than the words “childhood obesity”? … Continue reading →

Act your age! We’ve all heard it — and, along about the age of 25, I found myself saying it. But it no longer elicits an exaggerated sigh and grudging obedience from the younger set. Thanks to rabid marketing, kids … Continue reading →